Friday, May 1, 2009

Confession Friday, Week Two

Look at me, two weeks in a row! Who said I had no discipline? Oh right, that was me.

Happy Friday everyone (do you like how I pretend there are actually people reading this?), I hope that you have exciting weekend plans, unlike me. It's time for my next enthralling confession....

I confess that I am obsessed with Gossip Girl.

I am an intelligent, educated person. I know that this show (and many of the others that I watch religiously) is dumb. But I don't care. When the show goes on a break, I mourn every Monday night until it comes back. I can't get enough of the Chuck-Blair-Nate-Serena-Vanessa-Jenny love hexagon (that's the one with 6 sides, right?). I can't get enough of Dorota, the ridiculously awesome maid. I can't get enough of watching these spoiled rotten teenagers take over Manhattan, with very little supervision from their parents.

I even read two of the books that inspired the show on my honeymoon. I am apparently a 16 year old trapped in a 20-something's body.

But do you know the best part about it? My husband loves it too. Now, I have to tell you that he could not be more of a guy's guy. He plays on 4 different softball teams, the only thing he reads is ESPN Magazine, and he would watch sports all day every day if I let him. He is not exactly the key demographic for Gossip Girl. And yet, he's hooked. Now, if you asked him to his face, he would most likely downplay it. But he's sitting there on the couch with me every week, rolling his eyes at Chuck's nonsense, and laughing at Blair's one-liners. It's fantastic.

P.S. While I hate teenagers in real life, I love them on TV.

Monday, April 27, 2009

What you can expect from this blog

Topics I will not be blogging about:

1. Pooping at work. I'll leave that to Yellaphant.
2. My sex life, in vivid detail. I'll leave that to Penelope Trunk.
3. Oral sex. Penelope's got that covered too.

I'm sure there are other topics, but I was just going through my RSS feeds this morning and those kind of stuck out.

Topics I will be blogging about:

1. Superficial things like the cute top I bought from Nordstrom this weekend.
2. Why the government should stop taking so much damn money out of my paychecks (forcing me to play the lottery more).
3. People who are a-holes.

Get excited people.

P.S. I would like to clarify, I love Yellaphant and Penelope Trunk, so don't take this post in any negative way. I wish I was as interesting as the two of them.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Confession Friday, Week One

I'm not really sure if I have the discipline for this, but I'm going to attempt to post a confession of sorts every Friday. We'll see how long that lasts, but for now......

I confess that I'm addicted to The Knot.

For those who aren't familiar, The Knot is the online mecca of wedding planning information. Checklists, pictures of gowns and flowers and invitations, vendor reviews, trend articles, you name it. But none of that is what hooked me. It was the message boards.

Now, I already told you that I'm kind of a dork, but I was never the online message board kind of dork, until about 10 months ago when I discovered that The Knot has local message boards. I wandered on to check out the scene on my local board, hoping for help with some questions, not expecting to stay long.

Well, I got help with some questions, but was a little off on the "not staying long" part. I do not care to admit how many hours a day I can spend on that board, chatting with the other Knotties (yes, we have a name for ourselves). I can't even explain the dynamic to you, other than it's kind of like high school. There are the girls that have been on the board forever (the seniors), the girls that are relatively new, but are pretty cool (the sophomores and juniors), and the newbies (freshmen), who have to get flamed once or twice before they're allowed to graduate up a class.

It's ridiculous. But it's addicting.

Oh, and there are get-togethers. No lie. Every once in a while, one of the Knotties (shut up, I know) will pick a time and a place, and a bunch of girls will get together to talk about the other girls on the board who didn't show up, show off their bling, and talk about wedding crap that would make your head spin if you're not engaged or recently married.

"But Jessica, you're already married, why do you still go on a wedding message board?"

Don't judge me. I already told you, it's an addiction.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Check me out, I'm fancy!

How much do you love my new banner/logo or whatever you call it? Can I tell you how awesome Etsy is? I just went on, posted a request for someone to make me a banner for my new blog, and BOOM - 10 graphic designers who wanted to do it for me. It doesn't get much better than that.

So, thanks to Dionne, graphic designer and blogger extraordinaire, who designed this lovely banner for me. You rock!

Stay tuned for the first post in my "____ are a-holes" series, coming atcha tomorrow morning. I know, you can hardly wait.

P.S. If you've never experienced Etsy, drop whatever you're doing, and go there now. You'll thank me, but your wallet won't.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Teenagers are a-holes

Welcome to the first post in my "(insert person or group of persons) are a-holes" series. I'm generally a pretty upbeat person, but there are just certain things that set me off.

Like a vast majority of teenagers.

Now I know that might seem like a huge generalization, but think about the teenagers that you know, and what the ratio of nice upstanding kids to a-holes is. Be honest. I'm thinking about 1:100.

Case in point: I'm driving home from work yesterday, minding my own business. It was a beautiful afternoon, so I had the windows of my car down. I pull up to a traffic light, and see a car in the lane to the left of me with several hands sticking out the windows, flipping off the car in front of them. There are like 10 kids in the car who look like they're approximately 12 years old, and they all look pissed. Whatever, I think -- maybe the other car cut them off, justifying the gesture.

But wait, it gets better. They start THROWING QUARTERS (or maybe nickels, but that's not the point) at the car in front of them! I'm sorry, I have been known to throw a crude gesture, or an FU out an open window, but throwing metal objects that could actually damage another vehicle?? When is that okay?

So of course, I'm gaping at this car in disbelief, when one of the a-holes glances over in my direction to see that I'm staring at them. Which prompts a very nasty "What are you looking at?" from one of the children.

Now, I had about a million responses in my head, but A. I didn't want quarters thrown at my car (it may be a POS, but I don't need to make it worse), and B. the light turned green.

Moral of the story: teenagers are a-holes and should not be allowed to drive.

P.S. Doing a Google images search for "a-holes" is a scary thing.

Hi, my name is Jessica....or is it??

I figured I should introduce myself, in case anyone is actually reading this. (Hello, is this thing on??) My name is Jessica, or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm not going to lie to you, my non-existent blog readers, I'm not really sure how public I want to go with this blog just yet. The reasons for this include:
  • My boss probably thinks I'm happy in my job.
  • My parents have no idea I'm in credit card debt. (Mom, if you ever read this, don't kill me)
  • My husband thinks I'm relatively normal. (Okay, that's a lie, but I don't need to make it worse.)
So in the interest of maintaining those factors in my life, for now I'm staying mum on the details of who I am, and not really showing this blog to anyone who knows me IRL (that's "in real life", for any of you non-dorks out there). Maybe one day I'll grow some balls, and change my mind, but for now, I'll keep writing in the hopes that some random person happens to Google something about winning the lottery, and winds up here.

Anyway, things you should know about me:
  • I like using bullet points, obviously.
  • I really am married, and I really am a 20-something.
  • I've never blogged before, and I really just started this on a whim, so the subject matter of this blog is very much up in the air.
  • I'm sort of a nerd, but I was one of those nerds in high school that was friends with the smart kids AND the popular kids, but didn't fully fit in with either.
  • I should probably join Shopaholics Anonymous.
  • My family is crazy, but I love them to death.
  • I have ADD (despite the fact that my husband doesn't believe me). Not bad enough that I need to be medicated, but enough that I may spin off topic at any time, so I apologize in advance.
  • My dream is to have enough money so that I can quit my job, do charity work, and shop in my spare time.
Unless you want to hear about my favorite food and my love for Bruce Springsteen, I'll leave it at that for now. More to come, like it or not.

P.S. Sorry for the profanity, but who could resist a cursing cupcake? Not me, that's for sure.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I realized today that I need to win the lottery

I graduated from a Tier One college. My husband graduated from a highly respected school with a very difficult major. We both have jobs in the field of our degrees. We have 401Ks. We own a home. And yet, I feel like we're broke.

Now don't get me wrong. We have 401Ks and we own a home, so clearly we're not destitute. And I've been known to spend an afternoon blowing some of my hard-earned money at the mall.

But by no means are we comfortable. We keep track of every dollar that we spend, and some months, we rack up the credit card debt faster than we can pay it down.

We did everything right. We graduated near the tops of our classes in high school so we could get into good colleges. We graduated college (despite my best efforts to fail French class) with degrees in subjects that there are actually jobs in, unlike my friends with degrees in English or Psychology -- have fun with grad school, guys. We got jobs at respectable companies, and we work (relatively) hard.

So when is it supposed to get easier?? I look at the home that my parents own (and even the one they owned 25 years ago), and can't imagine how we are ever going to be able to afford something like that.

The bottom line is, I need to win the lottery. I mean, I'm not asking for a lot, just a few million would be plenty. Please?